Some of you may think that because I do this for a living and help people connect back in with their truest nature that I have it all figured out. The truth is, I do not. I wish I could say I have it all figured out but unfortunately I cannot.
Since coming back from holiday I have been energetically pushed to do The Work. Even though each day of my life I feel like I do The Work in little ways, sometimes a bigger shift and up levelling needs to happen.
For me, it has been physical ailments that have come up. It has been challenging and incredibly uncomfortable. Often when health issues come up we immediately only focus on the physical aspect and how to get rid of it as quickly as possible. However, when it persists I believe that it is trying to tell us something that is going on at a much deeper level emotionally.
The gifts that this discomfort has brought recently have been quite phenomenal. It has forced me to look at what I have been carrying emotionally and not speaking out. I have had feelings of fear, not wanting to put myself in a vulnerable situation, feeling incredibly alone, worried, and anxious, and not wanting to hurt anyone else even though I have been hurting. My sleep was most disturbed, stomach churning, and I have felt very unsettled.
One thing I knew I had to do first through the help and guidance of a friend was surrender. I was clinging to the need to fix everything and get myself better, not trusting in the flow and the divine order of my life.
In this journey of surrendering came the tough, hard conversations. I had to let go of the muck that I had been carrying, all those feelings that had built up that I hadn’t spoken out. I was then presented with very clear cue points for two conversations I needed to have, it was a particular series of events/conversations that happened relating to my ailment that finally tipped me over the edge to have the hard conversation and speak my truth.
After saying all that I needed to say, I felt exhausted, as I realised how much tension and stress holding on was causing, but I felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. However something even more special happened, the friendships that were involved were brought even closer together. A growth and expansion occurred.
Before surrendering, everything felt like a struggle, I had even begun emotionally distancing myself from the friends that I needed to have the tough conversations with, because I was avoiding feeling uncomfortable and so caught up in not wanting to hurt them. I ended up feeling more alone. I felt helpless. The minute I gave up the struggle, surrendered and spoke my truth, my situation began to improve.
By speaking my truth, not only was I helping myself grow, I was also helping my friends grow and learn more about themselves and also learn more about what my needs are as their friend. Furthermore, by doing this in my friendships, I’m also practising for when I’m in a future relationship, as this is something I was most terrible at doing in my previous relationship – bringing shit up when it comes up rather than sitting on it for five years like I used to do, then a teabag in the sink sends me off the deep end and it’s too late. Yep. No more of that thanks!
In the healing and guidance work that I do in Spiritual Nutrition, it is of utmost importance to me that I let you know that I am doing The Work too. How can I stand in a position of guiding you to do The Work if I’m not doing it myself? That is something that does not sit well with me.
So, you now know that I know very well how it feels. It’s hard. It’s really uncomfortable. It’s not pleasant. It’s incredibly messy, and when I am doing The Work it is hard to keep up with everything like Instagram posting, catching up with people, running a business and everything else in-between. However when I’m going through these periods of shifting higher, I do not put pressure on myself to have to still be on top of my game with everything. There is a softening, a beautiful slowing down that occurs. I go deep within.
You must trust and know that the gifts that are on the other side of that difficult ‘doing the work’ door that we need to open, makes up for all the struggle. Gone are the days where I just sit and wonder why things aren’t happening the way I want them to. When things aren’t working out the way I had planned, I now see it as an invitation, an opportunity to dive deeper…and deeper…and deeper.
When challenges arise, be it physical ailments, people doing not so nice things, unexpected situations that seem to tip your world upside down. The one question I ask is:
What is this/are they showing me?
Such a simple question, but a golden one that opens the magic door to discovering why we are being triggered, why we are speaking so passionately about someone in a not so nice way, why we are judging, why this ailment won’t go away, why I got into that accident. Instead of feeling like a victim and that life is against us, let’s be open to expanding and growing from the situation, and trusting that there is a lesson to learn, that the situation/person is actually here to teach us something very important about ourselves.
These past few weeks have been uncomfortable, but the growth that has occurred from walking through the pain and discomfort has been phenomenal and I would not have it any other way. By walking through my pain and discomfort and doing The Work, I can in turn help you do The Work and assist you on your magnificent journey.